Finding the Hunting Grounds

• Ladies, gentlemen, don't you wish that someone would spill the beans on where we may best find a mate?

Sometimes, I watch men and women going by arm in arm and find myself thinking, where did they meet?

In having a conversation recently with a friend, I equated job hunting with meeting your mate, in that you may love your work passionately, yet others who are simply passing the time on the job are employed and you are not.

I may not be well off financially, but I will be a wonderful wife, lover, companion and friend to the man who longs to see my face next to his every morning.

Some of my brave friends may be reading this and think, "I am fine if a mate comes along and find if that is not the case", I call your bluff. We may not have a choice in when our significant other comes along, but we can be proactive about seeking him or her.

I may not have the secret of where to meet and capture his heart, but I am aware that men are not as forward as before, leaving us ladies to first approach them, at least in the beginning. Once he is aware of a vacancy, it is up to him to put in his resume or not.

So, sports bars, outdoor games, grocery stores, shopping centres, where are the men?

P.S. Feel free to leave some ideas of possible hunting grounds.

Life Before Children

Do you remember what life was like before kids entered the picture? I'll give you a moment to reminisce... I had an opportunity to revisit my life before my daughter, who just turned two. My mom took my daughter on a camping trip over the weekend, leaving me alone for the first time in two year. I cannot begin to tell you how wonderful an experience I had. I feel as if I've recaptured a piece of myself that was missing. I love my daughter, but for moms and dads out there who are the main care providers, you know how important it is to have some time for yourself. I am not sure when again I will have this experience though I will remember this weekend for a long time to come. I thank my mom for providing me with such a special gift. I pray that you my friend reading this blog will soon be able to have such an opportunity as I, to spend a few days without the kids at your side. How did I spend my time? Well! ... wonderfully. My daughter returns today. As I sign off, I am aware that I have a few more hours to go. Good bye.

Hair's To Us

Hair struggles! Most of us ladies have been having a tug of war with our hair for as long as we can remember. If we are fortunate to be at the end of the spectrum were our hair is thicker with a tighter kink, the struggle started with us literally running from having our hair comb.

We are all happy when we come upon a hair style or form of hair management that enables us to have an easier time with caring for our hair, my concern is the price that we are paying in order to have an easier time with our hair. In order to have quality hair extensions and wigs we are paying a hefty sum of money, but more than that many of us are loosing our hair in the process. The extensions and braids are being done too tight and wearing wigs for long periods of time without caring for our hair underneath damages the hair.

Whatever form you take in order to better care for your hair, it is a personal decision. I have taken to perming, which is not any better if I am not mindful of taking proper care of it in the process.

If you are considering to remove foreign hair from your head, here are some reasons why having your own hair whether permed or natural may be best:

1. Your special one will enjoy running his fingers through the length of your hair.
2. You will control the impromptu need for a wash.
3. You will spend less on hair care.
4. You get to play with your hair, knowing it's all yours.
5. There will be less stress about getting it wet.
6. You learn to fall in love with your God given head of hair.
7. Reduce the semi-permanent lines on your scalp formed by using tracks or consistent parts for braiding.
8. You reduce the stress on your scalp when you refrain from using extensions, wigs and braids.
9. Running your finger through your hair turns men on.
10. Your fear of wondering if anyone is able to see visible tracks in your hair is removed.

In the above photos, you see me with extensions and opposite, I am without the extensions, and looking just as fine.

Hair is sexy; your hair is sexy, get to know it, fall in love with it, research ways to care for it without adding extensions, wigs and braiding as much as possible.

Fathers

It was Kent Nerburn who said, "It's much easier to become a father than to be one".

To the fathers who have taken on the highest challenge of being

present in the lives of their children, I give the highest praise. In this time and age where many are not willing to be a father to their children, you dear Dad are a dying breed. Thank you.

A stat was given not long ago, stating that homes without fathers and children without the influence of fathers, were found to be leading in the stats for crimes, and runaways. How are you able to hold your heads up, look folks in the eyes, and carry on with your life when your blood is in need of your support mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. What future are we leaving for our children when we exit their lives, leaving their moms to do the job of both parents.

Men, there are so many wonderful things about you that is lovable, but it is time to return to our children. Forget the mom, it is not about the woman who you cannot get along with; no matter how you spin it, your child is calling out to and for you. He or she is looking at the television shows, and everywhere else seeing other kids with their fathers and wondering why they do not have one. Your child/children's tears are on you.

Can I encourage you to let this Father's Day be the beginning of something new?

What's Not To Love

Well! there are somethings that we would like to see change, where men are concern,but if we are to acknowledge the obvious and be open to a light hearted moment, here is what I would like to say about our men. It is sometimes difficult for us to see the weakness in our men, the side crying out to be loved, respected and supported. We know that most men are conditioned to show strength, to be strong and not show fear nor tears. As much as we'd like to trash some men silly for their treatment towards us, there is always I have found, something to love about them. My list is comprised of what I find lovable in some men in no particular order:

• Well shaped lips
• Hair on arms/legs
• Strong arms/legs
• Beautiful smile
• Intelligence
• Well spoken
• A sense of humour
• Kindness
• The way he walks
• Self-confidence
• Health conscious
• Godly
• Sexy without being obvious

Focus On The Beautiful

What has caught your attention?

For beautiful, turn your attention to the little child running around innocently, not having a care in the world, flowers that takes your breath away, birds in the sky, a babies cry that tugs at your heart strings, a compliment that brought tears to your eyes, a beautiful dream you wished could have lasted a little longer ... feel free to add to the list.

Forget about that potential love interest who is not into you. Forget past hurts and picture the future you see for yourself.

Focus on the beautiful. Focus on you.

Give Me Courage

Give me courage, courage to:

• Try something new
• Make a new friend
• Take a trip alone
• Go on a blind date
• Cut your hair

The 5 items above is a good place to start, when and if you feel a little more adventurous, continue to add to the list:

• Start looking for a new job while you still have the one that makes you unhappy.
• Get to know your parents all over again.
• Start going back to church.
• Leave the relationship that is making you unhappy and leave room for that special someone, who may be the one.
• Open your heart to love.
• Apply to jobs for which you are not qualified.
• Say yes to life.

Liking Men

Liking men says LaDwan Black, author of "Let's get it on" is a skill that all women should have, but very few possess...we describe men as dogs, buffoons, selfish and egotistical. No doubt many of us have known men who we can easily put in any of the above categories, but sisters, at the bottom of the pile there are some gems. It is important for us to remember that we have some good men out there; painting them all with the same brush will prevent us from identifying the quality men who are worthy of our loving. Someone told me a long time ago that "it is important to like you mate", this will make sense when you frictions arise in the relationship. You may not feel loving towards your mate at times, but if you like them, you will be more open to solving the conflicts. Get a piece of paper and list all the things you like and admire in men. When your love interest comes along, make a list of the things you fine admirable in him and think on these when he is driving you up the wall.

Speak Your Future into Being

When you think of your future mate, what are you thinking of, what do you see and what are you saying?

This is old wisdom, the fact that whatever it is that you are giving time and attention to will increase. The bible states, "as a man thinks, so he is." Our thoughts creates our tomorrows whether we want it or not.

A friend once caught me listing the attributes that I wished my mate to not have and immediately suggested that I speak of the attributes I desired to see in him. It was Donald Trump who said, "you have to think anyways so why not think big."

The same application is helpful for the potential mate in your life, speak positive words into their lives. Avoid the negative name callings in the situation of heated arguments and remember to speak, think and do only that which will produce more satisfactory outcomes.

What do you say to yourself when you speak?

Defining You

If you do not define yourself, someone else will do it for you.

Here is what I mean. Some of my defining words are: Compassionate, Loving, Learner, Happy, Thoughtful, Creative, Faithful, Joyful, Respectful, Significant, Sexy, Giving, Just, Alluring, Engaging, Likable... just for starters.

You may not have been impressed with yourself in the pass but today is a new day. Define yourself. I encourage you to choose your defining words.

Feel open to share your defining words with me, I would love to hear from you.

Moving Ahead On The Single's Journey

Okay, so you were dropped, abandoned, divorced...whatever brought you to this place, know that you dear friend, are not alone. The question is, where do you go from here?

There will be times when you find yourself feeling, upset, lonely, depressed or just having yourself a good old pity party. Go ahead and have your party but keep your eyes open for the turn coming up before you. If you miss your turn you just may end up right where you started.

Use the time that you are single to forge ahead, work on you; you precious person whom God cannot turn away from even for a minute. I am drunk on this thought, this thought that someone finds me completely irreplaceable, one of a kind.

Yes! Without a doubt you are looking to that day when scheming, fighting and dehumanizing yourself for the affections of a mate will come to an end, and someone in human form will want nothing else than to stand by your side "until death do you part" but until then, be happy for others who have found their life partners and get yourself ready for yours.

Sometimes taking a journey without companionship provides us with opportunities that would not have been available to us; had we someone travelling along on the trip.

Where can you begin on your journey? Go do it.

Singlehood and it's many meaning

Are you waiting to walk off into the sunset with your love, or are you like some of us who've found "the one" and walked off into the sunset only to find that he or she has changed on you without keeping you posted, leaving you holding the bag? You may disagree with me, but it is my believe that you can be married and yet find yourself single. If you find your mate leaving you to make most of the tough decisions in the home, leaves the bulk of the house work and care of the children up to you, you may be single. For my none married friends, this may be a bit shady, are you dating without a verbalized commitment, dating with a stated commitment or not dating presently? Bottom line, being single is no picnic, but finding yourself with the wrong person is even worst. It's not easy finding yourself with longings for that special someone and not having the person materialize. God was fully aware of this when he made the decision to create mother Eve for Adam. What does single hood mean to you, is it working on yourself to be the best that you can be for your mate when he or she comes along or are you killing time with the wrong folks in the meantime?